When it comes to cougar dating there is one expert that is turned to again and again, and that expert is Lucia. Not only a dating and relationship guru with over 272,000 Facebook fans and 20,000 Twitter followers but a self-confessed cougar.
Lucia is also the former host of The Art of Love – an LA based Talk Radio show, and author of How to Catch a Cougar (available at www.howtocatchacougar.net). She has also been featured on Dr Phil, Tyra Banks Show, E! Entertainment, Radio and more than 100 radio and TV shows around the world.
She recently launched www.thecougarclub.co and over 106 media outlets picked up her press release in the first 3 days. Her Alexa rank immediately went up by over 11 million.
Shardul Pandey: What interests you most about cougar and cub relationships, and why this type of relationship in particular?
Lucia: The main reason I’m interested in this type of relationship is because I’m a Cougar! It’s a very misunderstood dynamic. People assume the women are chasing the men, and most of the time, that is simply not true. Or people believe the only reason a younger man would want to date an older woman is because of her money or the great sex but it’s about so much more than that.
Shardul Pandey: Are you a self-confessed cougar or ever been in a cougar / cub relationship?
Lucia: Yes of course – It would be hard to call myself a Cougar dating expert if I wasn’t walking the talk. And by the way, if a woman is over 40 and dating a man at least 10 years younger, she’s a Cougar – self-confessed or not!
Shardul Pandey: What two things would you wholeheartedly suggest young men do when preparing for, or on a, first date ?
Lucia: Shower and shave.
Shardul Pandey: We are sure you’ve heard many (many) stories of where younger men get the date wrong time and time again. Either do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing etc… what would be the one ‘always avoid’ secret you can give to a man just about to go on a cougar date?
Lucia: Don’t take her somewhere too noisy or too dark on a first date, when you’re just getting to know each other. You both want to be able to hear and see each other.
Shardul Pandey: Women who worry about dating a younger man are concerned their date will start comparing them to past girlfriends, or girls of their own age. How should they try and alleviate these concerns to relax and enjoy the date?
Lucia: The ladies need to remember that a younger man is dating them because of their age, not despite their age. Some of them are not even interested in dating a woman unless she’s over 40! If he wanted to be with someone his age or younger, he would be. You have so much more to offer than a younger woman ever could – simply because you’ve been around longer. Experience is sexy, so relax and don’t compare yourself to younger women.
Shardul Pandey: Why do you think younger men are attracted to older women and vice versa?
Lucia: The #1 reason younger men are attracted to older women is because of their confidence. They know what they want and aren’t afraid to say it. They generally don’t play games and there is little to no drama.
Older women have a lot of life experience and are interesting to talk to. They know a lot and conversations are never dull. Finally, An older woman has a high drive. She’s comfortable with her body, knows what she’s doing and is willing to experiment.
Older women prefer younger men because they grew up in a generation where they see a woman as an equal and not as someone they need to dominate and control. They are not threatened by a woman’s accomplishments and are very supportive. They like the fact that the men have a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, positive attitude towards dating. They’re not as jaded as most older men, so they are still idealistic when it comes to love and romance
Of course we can’t forget that they look great, are in shape, have stamina and endurance. Finally, they have little to no baggage – they generally don’t have an ex-wife they are paying alimony to, kids they see every other weekend or major health issues.
Shardul Pandey: How soon after a first date should a guy or woman call – are there different dating etiquette’s when it comes to cougar and cub relationships than other dating?
Lucia: Many dynamics are still the same. I believe it’s best to let the man make the first contact after a date. What’s important is not how soon he calls/texts but what his attitude is when he actually does so. If he’s really into her, he still needs to play it a bit cool for a while. If he’s dying to hear her voice and wants to call the next day fine, just don’t ask her out right away. Call or text to say you had a nice time and it was great to meet her.
Shardul Pandey: Where would you suggest are the top 3 places to go – or things to do on – a first cougar date?
Lucia: I would suggest doing something different – out of the norm. She’ll be expecting that you’ll want to take her to a bar or restaurant but how about going for a walk in the park or at the beach? The first date is about getting to know each other and when people are in nature they tend to relax and open up more easily.
Otherwise if you know of a fun, unusual place you can take her that you think she may not have gone to before, that’s good too. Don’t think you have to take her someplace mature – the opera or the theatre. If that’s what she wanted, she would be dating someone her age or older.